


Look behind you

by SunL



Category: SHINee, VICTON (Band), 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Disability, Fiction, Fluff, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Pain, Romance, Sad, Work In Progress
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-03
Updated: 2018-08-03
Packaged: 2019-06-21 04:53:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,829
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15550032
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SunL/pseuds/SunL
Summary: Music was Park Jimin's life. there was nothing that he loved more than singing and dancing, until he met him.Lim Sejun refused to sink, but swimming was getting harder everyday. He lost one of the hands that kept him above the surface and now he's desperately clinging to what was left.Jimin offering his hand, will he save him, or is Sejun going to pull him down with him?





	Look behind you

It hurts. Lim Sejun can't breath.   
He's standing there, dancing on stage, but his heart is breaking with every move he makes. He could feel his legs trembling beneath him, his voice wavering as he sing his part.

  
Sejun was happy, half an hour ago he was happy. But then, just as Victon were getting ready to step up on stage, he received a text message, " _Please come to the hospital, your mother is feeling unwell_ " .   
Sejun's mother was sick, had been for the past three years. When they first discovered she had blood cancer, the doctors said the disease has already spread through her blood circulation, that the chances of fighting it were low but still present. And so, they tried.

  
A year ago, Sejun's mother stopped responding to treatments. Just then, as if an invisible clock started ticking, Sejun knew she was leaving.   
Victon's new song "time of sorrow" Was written for Sejun, for his brother, for their mother. It was a promise he wished he'd never have to make.

  
Sejun would visit his mother whenever he had the chance, he and his brother tried their best to bring their family together. Everynight they had dinner with their mother. Even though Sejun hated the hospital's smell, his mother's dark room and her unmade bed that witnessed her shrieks of pain, he never missed a night. Because there is nowhere else he would rather be than with his family. In comparison to Sejun's brother, he had it easy. He didn't have to worry about food or rent. He also had his members to lean on in times of need. But Sejun's brother had to work day and night to pay for their house bills, for their mother's hospital bills and for her medication.

  
As far as Sejun knew, his brother had no close friends or lovers. He has always been timid, quiet, serious. But also strong and brave and everything that Sejun defined as perfect. His brother was an idol too, his idol.

  
Everynight, they would sit in the small hospital room, they would tell eachother about their day, and their mother would tell them stories about her past. Stories that she told million of times but still had them hanging on every word, because they feared it might be the last time.

  
During the day, their neighbor, Mrs yoo, would visit the hospital. Mrs Yoo adored them. When their father suddenly left one day, Mrs Yoo was there to mend their mother's wounds as she picked the pieces of her broken heart. And to this day she was still taking care of them.

  
The three years of their mother's treatment, Mrs Yoo never missed a day without going to the hospital and bringing the best of dishes to their mother. Her kindness, helped Sejun to ignore the clock In his head. The clock that today stopped ticking, and started ringing as loud as ever.

  
After reading Mrs Yoo's text message, Sejun tried calling his brother but the call went to voice mail. He tried again and again, but the result was still the same. Just as he was about to call the hospital, Victon's name was called. His members tried to reassure him that everything was probably just fine, that he should focus on his performance and then they would accompany him to the hospital. But Sejun  _knew_. He could feel it deep down in his heart that nothing was fine.

  
Sejun tried to keep his legs from shaking too much, he focused on keeping his steps steady on his way to the platform.  
The lights dimmed, the cheers of the fans sounded far away. He shook his head, wiped his clammy hands on his dress pants and took a deep breath. Sejun had to use everything in him to pull himself together, to keep himself from breaking on that stage. But The thought of his mother dying while he was up there performing hit him hard. The music started and Sejun was about to turn around and get the hell out of there. He lifted his head and found Seungwoo looking at him, his leader nodded his head once and that told Sejun that he understood, that he'll take care of it, that he could leave. Instead of doing just that, Sejun found strengh in that small gesture. He wouldn't let his leader down, or his members.

  
Even if Sejun couldn't be fully present, his body remembered the dance. His lips moved on their own, singing his part.   
The fans were nothing more but a dark cloud, he couldn't see them or hear them.  
" _I remember the days when we were together,I hope you’re happy to leave it behind_ " Sejun sang the last part of the lyrics, and only then did he feel the wetness on his face.

  
"Sejun, let's go" He barely heard Seungwoo's voice but as soon as the words registered in his head he was the first one to leave the stage. He pulled off the mic attached to his ear, clumsily handed it to one of the staff, and then ran. His mind was chanting ' _hospital hospital hospital_ ' and his legs ran faster, through the stage exit, the corridors and finally the main waiting room where he planed to ask his manager for a ride.  
As soon as Sejun stepped into the room, every plan vanished, because there, leaning against the wall,  was no other tha Lim Jaesung, Sejun's older and only brother.

  
At Sejun's arrival, Jaesung lifted his head and looked at him. It took Sejun a moment to understand.  _she is already gone_. Why would Jaesung be there instead of the hospital. Because she was already gone and there's nothing for him to do there, no one for him to be there for.  _So he came here. for_ me.  Because at that moment, it was Sejun that needed him the most.

  
His brother's eyes bore into his, his questioning gaze softened and his lips formed a weak smile.   
Sejun bowed down his head, tears threatening to fall. The room suddenly closing In on him, and he could feel the presence of the people around him. They were probably looking at him, wondering what was up with him.  He bit his lower lip as hard as he could in order to keep his pained voice from coming out. With his eyes glued to the floor, Sejun walked towards his brother's arms. His whole body was trembling and Jaesung wasted no time wrapping his arms around him. Jaesung's warm body held him close, his lips whispered in his ear the words he needed to hear the most.   
"Let go, Sejun. I will shoulder your pain".

  
And that was when Sejun could no longer hold it together. Could no longer pretend to be fine. Sobs tore from his throat, he felt the floor slips from under his feet but didn't care because his brother was there to hold him.

 

* * *

 

 

"Lim Sejun" Jimin muttered softly.

  
The name so familiar on his tongue, as if he spent his lifetime calling it out. But the truth was that Jimin spoke that name only twice. The first time was a year ago, when the boy's group asked for a picture together with BTS when they met in the building's hallway.

  
The memory was vague, but an image of a dimpled smile and soft eyes was stuck In Jimin's head. At the moment, Jimin didn't pay much attention to the young boy. The adrenaline from their stage performance and win was still cruising through his body. Only later, when he was laying down on the hotel's bed, did a flash of dimples rush through his mind, and as much as he tried to remember its owner, he couldn't.Until today.

  
As he was sitting In the main waiting room, facing the big television screen, Victon stepped on stage. As soon as Jimin's eyes landed on the black haired boy, he knew it was him. _Lim Sejun_. However this time, There was no cute smile. For some reason Sejun's eyes were empty, his movements almost robotic. The dance that was meant to look beautiful and full of life, looked haunted.

  
Jimin edged closer on the couch, his eyes never leaving the TV screen.   
"I listened to their song last week, I really like it. " Taehyung commented next to him. "It has a unique feel it to it, don't you think? " When there was no response, Taheyung nudged Jimin's side. "Jimin, are you listening? "  
"He's crying" Jimin mumbled. "Sejun is crying!" he said again, louder.  
Jimin only noticed because he was paying close attention to the boy, to anyone else it would have looked like a normal performance. But to Jimin, it was quite obvious that something was up.

  
The song ended, Sejun was kneeling in what Jimin assumed was his ending pose. The camera focused on him and for a short moment you could see the shining tears on his face, and then his face was gone from the screen. The camera changed the angle and you could see Victon members trying to cover Sejun by stepping to the front of the stage and pushing him to the back. The showed the audience as they seemed oblivious, screaming and cheering. When it focused back on the stage, Sejun was gone.

"What just happened?"  
"Maybe he was just feeling the song" Taehyung suggested.  
"I don't think so" Jimin flopped back against the couch, suddenly exhausted. "He looked pained".  
"you're just being dramatic. He was probably sick or just tired".  
Maybe he was being dramatic, but maybe he was right and something greater was happening. If he could just see him face to face, maybe he'd be able to tell, maybe he'd be able to help. As if God heard his thoughts, the door to the waiting room opened and there stood Lim Sejun.

Two steps into the room, and the boy froze. He was looking at something right behind Jimin's head, he turned around and that something turned out to be someone. A man. The two guys started at eachother, they seemed to be having a silent personal conversation. Jimin chose to focus his attention on Sejun. The younger man was biting his lip hard enough that droplets of blood started forming around his teeth. His whole body was trembling and a soft whimper could be heard. Sejun almost ran to the man's arms, and then a sound Jimin wished to never hear again filled the room. The pained sobs had Jimin standing up, something pulled at his heart as he watched the boy break down infront of him. Jimin wanted it to stop, to whatever was happening to Sejun to stop.

A thought passed through his head that had him take a step back ' _i'd give anything to make his pain stop'_  .  At that moment, for the stranger infront of him, Jimin was ready to give everything he owned to see Sejun happy. That thought, scared him immensely.

**Author's Note:**

> Taemin and Jaesung coming next~  
> Tell me your thoughts on this chapter. I apoligize if there was some grammatical or spelling errors, do point them out so i could fix them.
> 
> _______
> 
> Lee Taemin witnessed it all. Who is the stranger that caught his attention? will he regret the bold move he was about to make? or is it going to free him from his guilt?


End file.
